Sunday, March 15, 2009

Make Your Partner Love You Forever

What does it take to make a partner love you forever? How do we work out what our other half is looking for in the perfect partner? There's always that feeling that if we could only find the answers to those questions, we would know how to act and keep them in our lives no matter what.

The sad fact is that there isn't one single answer to either question and in many ways you can drive yourself crazy trying to analyse all the possibles. There is one answer though, to stop the worry.

Because the anxiety you are feeling right now is down to an insecurity in yourself, and if we can work on that, then you will magically find you know longer have the stress of wanting know how to make your partner love you forever; it will simply happen.

We all have periods in our lives where we doubt ourselves - temporary insecurity about certain situations is a normal part of being human. But when these feelings affect every part of our lives long term, and especially our relationships with others, it becomes problematic.

The good news is that when we're willing to take a look at our feelings and reactions, we have the greatest opportunity to change. If you have that open attitude, you are already well on your way to stopping the anxiety about your relationship that could be threatening to spoil it in so many ways.

Why do we get into this pattern of insecurity and worry? There are as many reasons as there are people; past bad relationships, unpleasant childhood memories, a gradual increase in low self esteem over the years cause by many different events.

Try these steps for overcoming this pattern and see your concerns about making your partner love you vanish:

  • Think less about ''the relationship'' and more about you. Have you lost track of what you like doing and how you like to be, look and feel? That young vibrant person you used to be is still in there somewhere and its time to find them again. Your partner can never make you whole; this is a job for you alone. They can't fix you or provide a relief from boredom or stress. It's time to find yourself again.
  • Remember your needs are both equally important. Sometimes we become so concerned with making someone like us we forget that both partners should be looking after the other. You aren't providing some kind of social service here!
  • Stop letting your emotions control your actions. Always think before you speak and act, and get some time away from the situation if you think you're going to do or say something in the heat of the moment you will regret later. Give yourself time to plan how you will react to what someone has said or done, and regain a sane, non-dramatic approach.