Monday, March 30, 2009

Healthy Tips for Steady Love Relationship, "Husband, Love Your Wife, Wife, Love Your Husband..."

Take note of these 3 phrases:

[1] "True love is long-suffering, patient, understanding and faithful in the awakening of the other's love'

[2] "True love knows no barriers, no challenges, no flaws and it is always forgive and forget...."

[3] "Give your heart to only one, but your smiles to everyone.'

This should be expected between husband and wife partnerships. To foster a relationship and to maintain it needs skills to do so. It is of quite importance that one should stay faithful to each other. It is a comforting feeling that the presence of children will always cement relationships among parents.

One should not regret for a choice one made in marriage. It has been fated that the two of them should come together to produce new offspring.. Marriage isn't a buying up a suit and after feeling bored with it, throw it away and buy another new one. If you have made the vow or choice, never regret. It is a decision made to last or else this world will be in chaos.

Knowing that a suit can get faded and torn, it is the same for all ladies and gentlemen. No one will stay at 18 forever and no one is wise enough to pick a perfect choice when infatuated. Love isn't built on beds of roses, it is not just milk and honey... or darling for ever, agreed? The coming together of 2 person that comes from 2 different worlds are facing many realities of life when they start to live together.

[4] 'Tolerance, patience, persistence, interdependence, confidence, trust, open-ness, win/win situations, are attributes that can build a relationship, and the question is 'Are you willing to make it work?'

My mentor used to joke.... in this love thing, one always start from a stranger to friend and then to lovers, but after marriage, it becomes the opposite. Now it is from lovers, cold friends, then to strangers...eventually leading to breakups. Why is it always like this? What has gone wrong? When one is in love, each can sacrifice almost anything to gain each other's love, but now it is just the opposite.

Familiarity breeds contempt? Bored? Discovered something? Unwilling to change? Too sophisticated? Stagnant/stale relationship? Language barrier? Body barrier? One is lagging behind? Discrimination? Too attached? Too much dependence? No money, no talk? Someone is more sexy? 3rd party? Love problems? Health problems? Lack of sexual desire? No comfort? Too unresponsive? Too naive? No electricity? His faults? His bad character? No brains? the lists will be too long to write...

I have come across many women in emotional distress, and never even dared to talk about their failure in their love-life and family, about love fading, being ,deceived, about being jilted, about being left cold, about being sandwiched in between another mistress, losing interest in sex life and poor health. Most of these women suffered in silence and seemed to hoard all these negatives in their heart and mind. These women are sometimes so stressed that they released their angers on their own children. Just imagine, hurting physically or hurling hurting remarks to young children, their own kids and regretting later. We call that child abuse, this isn't a new issue, right?

How much more pitiful sights should one hear or see? How distressing it is to see these women being provoked and couldn't control their anger and hate? The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world, heard this phrase? The young will be indirectly influenced by bad temper and be ill-treated with abusive, rough meaningless words. That is why the morals of modern world have corrupted due to the improper bringing up of distressed mothers and maids or amahs their children grew up with. Instead of their own mothers, they grow up with Indonesian maids or amahs, and eventually they talk and think like one...

Emotional balance for a wife or a mother is too important in the structuring or influencing of our next generations. So, it again goes back to a happy family where the parents should be in good terms with each other. Parents should show good examples and lead the way to true happiness. Separations or divorces will be too hurting to each and everyone of the concerned.

[5] Treat this relationship as a journey instead of a destination.... All of us starts from strangers budding to friends, then to lovers, then to parents, grandparents and even lying beside each other when cold and lifeless.......companions for this life and eternity. Ever thought of it? It has been fated as I have said.

I came across an old wise man who told me this. "Husband and Wife is one life!" This only phrase awaken in me a reality, an understanding that I thought never would be. This awakening becomes my answer to my problems... I came to understand that 'his is also mine, mine is also his....', his problems are also mine, his wrongs or rights are also mine. There is no escape. Never think of fair or not fair....

[6] Yes, there is no escape on fair or not fair, or who is doing the lions share of work or anything..... Another wise old man told me too that if one demands justice in this topic of you love me, so I love you, you give, so I also give; you work, so I work.....there will never be any peace. Where is JUSTICE? Justice cannot be applied in 'male or female equal rights!' The more you fight, the more hurt it will bring.... the more sufferings will be there...

This husband and wife's love is a selfish love, but without it, there will be chaos. A perfect love between spouses will be proven when and where no third party can intrude or go in between them. An imperfect love will allow a third party to interrupt or is that an excuse for some? .

[7] The power of love and sex should never be underestimated. It has moved mountains and created histories of countless victories and failures. Many heroes still fall onto the feet of beauties, losing fame, families and failing their missions. Too many heroes and heroines are attracted by outer beauty, not inner beauty. Too many heroes and heroines preferred to be lured into the fantasies and wonders of forbidden love. The forbidden fruits too delicious to avoid. What can we do? Samson the strongest man fell to ruins too. He regretted and said. "A night's sensual pleasure is not worth a lifetime's imprisonment and death was the punishment!" It wasn't just a story.

Who are we to say that they are wrong? Who are we to say that they shouldn't or couldn't do this or that? But it has been written in the 10 commandments that we shouldn't commit adultery. Not the bible only, but wise teachings too. A solid marriage is only solid when both partners agreed to keep it as an eternal bond, otherwise separation is too easy. And how many people are really willing to work hard to keep the marriage? How many people are patient enough to wait in the awakening of the other's love?

[8] Keeping in mind that all humans have weaknesses. To err is human, to forgive is divine. To make mistakes or not to... sometimes this passion or love thing is too complicated to explain or express.. The efforts put into untangling or disconnecting an affair or forbidden love needs tremendous strong will and determinations..... but for the sake of family happiness and togetherness, all problems should be solved. For the sake of LOVE, for the sake of the children and our parents too.

Article from: Lucy Wong Moi

Friday, March 27, 2009

Men, If You're Doing This, It Will Push Your Wife Into Another Man's Arms Every Time

You can deeply love your wife...

To spend the rest of your life with her can be your greatest desire...

But, if you possess one certain characteristic, you can be assured that two things will happen:

1. Your wife will first check out emotionally

2. Your wife will then leave you for another partner (that she's either already found or will find)

Would you like to know what this one characteristic is so you can avoid it? Yes?

Here it is... Wait... Maybe it's better that you discover it for yourself in the following...

Do you frequently wonder what your wife's true feelings are towards you?

Are you always asking her if she loves you?

And, if she does say that she loves you, do you often doubt that she really means it in her heart?

What about phone calls or letters that she receives? Is it really important to you to know who they are from and what was said?

Do you secretly question if your wife is really committed and true to you?

Are you one who likes lots of reassurance from your wife that everything in your marriage relationship is ok?

Maybe, you want constant confirmation from your wife that she'll always be with you and will never leave you?

And, if something does go wrong in the marriage relationship, do you automatically start wondering if it's over with and thinking that there's no hope?

Stop! Have you already picked up on what the characteristic is?

Here it is in a word...


And, the bad news is that insecurity never runs by always drags along its close cousins of CONTROLLING, NEGATIVITY, and SUSPICION.

The insecure man tries to "control" his wife - although he rarely realizes it - even as he interprets everything about her with "suspicion" and injects "negativity" into everything she does.

That's why I can assert that an insecure man's wife will eventually check out emotionally after which she will physically depart the marriage relationship.

It's a fact...the insecure man IS losing his wife. The only question is how long it will be before she's gone.

You see, a husband's continual insecurity wears on his wife. It grates on her nerves. It emotionally drains her.

See, with all of life's bombardments, one has to work at keeping themselves emotionally healthy. But, when you also have to be an "emotional support system" for another person, it quickly becomes too much...too draining.

At the start of the relationship, although a wife may find it irksome that her husband needs constant reassuring, she'll go ahead and give it to him. But, she quickly reaches a state where she's given out all of her reassurance and she has no reassurance left for herself.

Even worse, she's not getting the reassurance from her husband that she craves... She's always giving out reassurance but never getting anything back in return.

This wife quickly tires of having to constantly reassure an insecure husband. She tires of giving. She tires of trying.

On one hand, she DREAMS of being with a man who causes her to feel alive and exhilarated. On the other hand, she LIVES with a husband whose nagging insecurity leaves her feeling drained and exhausted.

And so, a wife who is married to an insecure man goes through a progression:

1. She starts to view her husband as UNATTRACTIVE. (And the husband starts complaining that his wife's desire for sex is declining.)

2. She progresses to resenting her husband's WEAKNESS. (And the husband becomes even more unhappy because his wife won't hardly have sex at all now.)

3. Finally, she reaches the stage where she literally HATES her husband. (And the husband is really unhappy now because he and his wife virtually never have sex anymore.)

These three steps are the wife's "checking out emotionally" phase that I referred to at the beginning.

And, once she's completed this process of "checking out", she WILL leave. She will leave as a matter of SELF-PRESERVATION - as a matter of protecting her sanity, dignity, and peace-of-mind.

Bottom line, it is a foolish man who expects his wife to understand, support, and hang around to be tormented by his insecurity.

Article From: NymphomaniacWife

Saturday, March 21, 2009

The Path to Forever: Intimacy and a Lasting Marriage

For a marriage to survive and last until that dreamy "forever," intimacy must exist between the couple. What is intimacy anyway? This just does not pertain to the act of making love, but fulfilling each other's emotional needs.

It entails enlightening conversations in between kisses and caresses. A lot of marriage counselors chalk up the longevity of a marriage to how intimate the couple is.

Here are some ways how to achieve that intimacy for an ideal, almost-perfect marriage:

1. All work and no intimacy make a dull couple. It is a given that after a crazy day at the office, the husband and wife both feel exhausted. But they must not let it get in the way of their relationship. They must allow for some quality time in and out of their love bed.

2. The husband must give what his wife wants: quality talk time. Wives want to talk things out and express what is inside their hearts. The husband must grant her that as this is one way to achieve emotional intimacy.

3. The couple must still exert an effort to look attractive. It does not mean that both must be “dressed up” all the time. But married couples must still try their best to look nice for their partners. This is one of the ways to start up the intimacy.

4. The couple must schedule dates. Dating must not end at marriage. In fact, both should set a time to go out and have fun, just like before.

5. Husband and wife must continually unleash their romantic side. Kisses, hugs, flowers, holding hands, stolen smacks...’the works’ - they do magic in a relationship.

6. Surprises are nice. Sweet surprises always lead to intimacy. If the couple knows when to pull off these incredibly romantic stints, then that's a surefire way to attain a divorce-proof relationship.

7. Solving a problem before it gets blown out of proportion is important. Intimacy loses its appeal once it gets "infected" by those conflicts that cripple the relationship. Conflicts should let a couple grow and not cause the downfall. It is nice to earn that happily-ever-after plateau.

But marriage is not as easy as a Disney fairytale had told everyone. Intimacy must be maintained long after the honeymoon is over to guarantee the husband and wife that yes, this marriage would last. That yes, forever is possible.

Article From: savingamarriage

Friday, March 20, 2009

Secrets to a Long, Happy Marriage!

Dear reader, this is only a joke since every single post I've make is a very serious and touching. So, this is only for relaxing and laugh!! Enjoy reading..

9. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesday's, I go Friday's.

8. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in Cincinnati.

Wedding Cake 7. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

6. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

Dancing Couple 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

4. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

3. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now.

Garbage Can 2. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

and last but not least...

1. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off!

Article From ahajokes

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

What Makes a Happy Marriage?

What are the keys to a happy marriage? How can you enjoy the blessings of a happy family? Is your marriage fulfilling and satisfying? The hope for a happy, fulfilling marriage is one of our deepest desires. Sharing our hopes, dreams and life with the one we love is one of life's most fulfilling experiences.

A happy marriage is not a promise to every couple. Those who discover the keys to a happy marriage manage to make it and prove that marriage can be full of bliss. It is therefore vital to study and understand what makes a happy marriage, before you apply it in your life. Let me start by saying that every couple can have a happy marriage. This is because we were all created with a capacity to be happy and to make other people happy. Joy and happiness is constant and there are no new formulas to make sure you are happy. You just need to remind yourself of what happiness was before you move on. In marriage, happiness is the responsibility of both partners. There are married people who wait for the other person to be the source of their happiness. You must take charge and realize that, to make a happy union, you must first be happy. Your self esteem and confidence must be high. Those people who have a low opinion on life will make lousy marriage partners. Nobody wants to be stuck with a spouse who has a wrong attitude; the marriage might not even work.

Therefore, keep in mind that you need to be a source of love as you receive it. The more love you give the more you receive. For example, let us start with how you treat your spouse. Some people never show respect. You must use a nice language while talking to your mate. This applies to both men and women. Some people treat their friends better than they treat their husbands or wives. Your spouse is the most important person in your life and, you should use a language that will be pleasing to them. Another thing you can do to enhance your union is to be full of compliments. You are the one who should empower your spouse remember, this is the only close friend you will ever have. When you got married, you became one and, when you compliment your spouse, you will be complimenting yourself. All these will be enabled by love. If you do not have love in marriage, you are wasting your time.

You will live for convenience but, you will never have true joy. The worse thing is not lack of love in marriage. It is the lack of willingness to love your spouse. Where there is no will there is no way. Other things you can do to create a happy marriage is to look after yourself and look good. It does not matter whether you are going somewhere or not; do it for your partner. To spice up your sex life, try a new position every month. Sex in marriage should be adventurous. Unfortunately, most people have made it boring and uninspired. Play silly games once in a while. You can also surprise each other with gifts from time to time. If you keep at it, you will discover that marriage can be made in heaven.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Long Distance Relationship Advice

Advice on Problems that Military Spouses May Face While Their Loved One is Away, and Tips for How to Deal with Their Absence

Dear Military Wife and Mother,

It can be an extremely difficult time in your household when your spouse is deployed. Not only are you dealing with your personal feelings, but you also have to continue to run your household and be a good mother. While it can seem overwhelming, don’t despair -- there are some things you can do to make sure things run smoothly while your spouse is gone.

Problems and solutions, tips and advice for military spouses:


Having a loved one in the military can be especially stressful on the spouse or partner when the soldier is deployed – or more so -- deployed overseas. There is uncertainty about whether or not the deployed husband or wife is safe and when they are coming home.


*Write and number envelopes. You can’t control what goes on where your husband is, but you can keep him in your life and keep you in his, by writing regularly – whether or not you hear from him, and numbering your envelopes and letters helps him will know if he missed one or not.

*Keep a scrapbook of everything that goes on with you and the children while he’s gone so that you can cuddle up with him when he returns and go over each page and tell him what happened while he was gone. He’ll have more of a grasp of what it was he missed – rather than it being a big cloud that keeps the two of you apart. You can’t make up for the fact that he wasn’t with you, but you can keep him in the loop when he’s home.


*Suddenly single mothers. It is also hard to be a suddenly single parent and children of suffer stress, as well. Just having an extra set of hands and a warm hug that your husband (or wife), who is now deployed, provided before he left, can be a big loss. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and harried.


*Get involved with other single mothers in your area or neighborhood. They are used to pooling their resources and helping each other out. You’ll learn a lot, and won’t feel so lonely. It’s nice for the children, too.


*Intimacy goes missing when your husband or wife is deployed. I’m not just talking about sex. Having someone to tell your feelings to – whenever you want – is a luxury many of us take for granted.

Advice:Pressure. Be aware of not putting too much pressure on each other in phone calls or e-mails with your deployed husband. They may be few and far between and if you don’t "connect" the way you had hoped you would don’t spend the time waiting for the next phone call worrying that something is wrong. Remember that you don’t really know what’s going on over there, and he may be stressed about things he’s not telling you about. It’s probably not about you.


*Financial stress of having a husband who has a good salary in a job, suddenly not have that salary, and the family has to rely on military salaries, which are comparatively low, can be great. Especially if his tour of duty is extended longer than you thought it would be.


*Spend carefully. Don’t spend money to cure anxieties. This is a time to watch your budget and look to family for help if you need. Use public parks and beaches for entertainment instead of going to dinner and movies with the kids. Make gifts instead of buying them.


Loneliness. Its common for friends and neighbors to be there for you when your husband first ships out, but it’s pretty common for the attention to whither away with time.


Community. Find a community of other military families who have loved ones deployed. They will offer support that other friends and family can't because they know what it's like firsthand. Having regular get-togethers with the adults and the families will be helpful for all of the family members.

Online bulleting boards and websites especially for military families are helpful for support and communication between families and their soldiers who are deployed. Hotlines for military families that offer information can alleviate stress.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Marriage & Relationship Advice : How to Love Your Wife

Hope you guys enjoy this video, this video is about how to love your wife. Learn more tips on love your wife from my blog.

"Don't-Tell-the-Wife" Secrets All Men Keep

11 Important thing that you should keep from your wife

Secret 1: Yes, we fall in lust 10 times a day -- but it doesn't mean we want to leave you

If the oldest question in history is "What's for dinner?" the second oldest is "Were you looking at her?" The answer: Yes -- yes, we were. If you're sure your man doesn't look, it only means he possesses acute peripheral vision.

"When a woman walks by, even if I'm with my girlfriend, my vision picks it up," says Doug LaFlamme, 28, of Laguna Hills, California. "I fight the urge to look, but I just have to. I'm really in trouble if the woman walking by has a low-cut top on."

Granted, we men are well aware that our sizing up the produce doesn't sit well with you, given that we've already gone through the checkout line together. But our passing glances pose no threat.

"It's not that I want to make a move on her," says LaFlamme. "Looking at other women is like a radar that just won't turn off."

Secret 2: We actually do play golf to get away from you

More than 21 million American men play at least one round of golf a year; of those, an astounding 75 percent regularly shoot worse than 90 strokes a round. In other words, they stink. The point is this: "Going golfing" is not really about golf. It's about you, the house, the kids -- and the absence thereof.

"I certainly don't play because I find it relaxing and enjoyable," admits Roland Buckingham, 32, of Lewes, Delaware, whose usual golf score of 105 is a far-from-soothing figure. "As a matter of fact, sometimes by the fourth hole I wish I were back at the house with the kids screaming. But any time I leave the house and don't invite my wife or kids -- whether it's for golf or bowling or picking up roadkill -- I'm just getting away."

Secret 3: We're unnerved by the notion of commitment, even after we've made one to you

This is a dicey one, so first things first: We love you to death. We think you're fantastic. Most of the time we're absolutely thrilled that we've made a lifelong vow of fidelity to you in front of our families, our friends and an expensive videographer.

But most of us didn't spend our formative years thinking, "Gosh, I just can't wait to settle down with a nice girl so we can grow old together." Instead we were obsessed with how many women who resembled Britney Spears we could have sex with before we turned 30. Generally it takes us a few years (or decades) to fully perish that thought.

Secret 4: Earning money makes us feel important

In more than 7.4 million U.S. marriages, the wife earns more than the husband -- almost double the number in 1981. This of course is a terrific development for women in the workplace and warmly embraced by all American men, right? Right?

Yeah, well, that's what we tell you. But we're shallow, competitive egomaniacs. You don't think it gets under our skin if our woman's bringing home more bacon than we are -- and frying it up in a pan?

"My wife and I are both reporters at the same newspaper," says Jeffrey Newton, 33, of Fayetteville, South Carolina. "Five years into our marriage I still check her pay stub to see how much more an hour I make than she does. And because she works harder, she keeps closing the gap."

Secret 5: Though we often protest, we actually enjoy fixing things around the house

I risk being shunned at the local bar if this magazine finds its way there, because few charades are as beloved by guys as this one. To hear us talk, the Bataan Death March beats grouting that bathroom shower. And, as 30-year-old Ed Powers of Chicago admits, it's a shameless lie. "In truth, it's rewarding to tinker with and fix something that, without us, would remain broken forever," he says. Plus we get to use tools.

"The reason we don't share this information," Powers adds, "is that most women don't differentiate between taking out the trash and fixing that broken hinge; to them, both are tasks we need to get done over the weekend, preferably during the Bears game. But we want the use-your-hands, think-about-the-steps-in-the-process, home-repair opportunity, not the repetitive, no-possibility-of-a-compliment, mind-dulling, purely physical task." There. Secret's out.

Secret 6: We like it when you mother us, but we're terrified that you'll become your mother

With apologies to Sigmund Freud, Gloria Steinem -- and my mother-in-law.

Secret 7: Every year we love you more

Sure, we look like adults. We own a few suits. We can probably order wine without giggling. But although we resemble our father when he was our age, we still feel like that 4-year-old clutching his pant leg.

With that much room left on our emotional-growth charts, we sense we've only begun to admire you in the ways we will when we're 40, 50 and -- God forbid -- 60. We can't explain this to you, because it would probably come out sounding like we don't love you now.

"It took at least a year before I really started to appreciate my wife for something other than just great sex; and I didn't discover her mind fully until the third year we were married," says Newton. "But the older and wiser I get, the more I love my wife." Adds J.P. Neal, 32, of Potomac, Maryland: "The for-richer-or-poorer, for-better-or-worse aspects of marriage don't hit you right away. It's only during those rare times when we take stock of our life that it starts to sink in."

Secret 8: We don't really understand what you're talking about

You know how, during the day, you sometimes think about certain deep, complex "issues" in your relationship? Then when you get home, you want to "discuss" these issues? And during these "discussions," your man sits there nodding and saying things like "Sure, I understand," "That makes perfect sense" and "I'll do better next time"?

Well, we don't understand. It doesn't make any sense to us at all. And although we'd like to do better next time, we could only do so if, in fact, we had an idea of what you're talking about.

We do care. Just be aware that the part of our brain that processes this stuff is where we store sports trivia.

Secret 9: We are terrified when you drive

Want to know how to reduce your big, tough guy to a quivering mass of fear? Ask him for the car keys.

"I am scared to death when she drives," says LaFlamme.

"Every time I ride with her, I fully accept that I may die at any moment," says Buckingham.

"My wife has about one 'car panic' story a week -- and it's never her fault. All these horrible things just keep happening -- it must be her bad luck," says Andy Beshuk, 31, of Jefferson City, Missouri.

Even if your man is too diplomatic to tell you, he is terrified that you will turn him into a crash-test dummy.

Secret 10: We'll always wish we were 25 again

Granted, when I was 25 I was working 16-hour days and eating shrimp-flavored Ramen noodles six times a week. But as much as we love being with you now, we will always look back fondly on the malnourished freedom of our misguided youth. "Springsteen concerts, the '91 Mets, the Clinton presidency -- most guys reminisce about the days when life was good, easy and free of responsibility," says Rob Aronson, 41, of Livingston, New Jersey, who's been married for 11 years. "At 25 you can get away with things you just can't get away with at 40."

While it doesn't mean we're leaving you to join a rock band, it does explain why we occasionally come home from Pep Boys with a leather steering-wheel cover and a Born to Run CD.

Secret 11: Give us an inch and we'll give you a lifetime

I was on a trip to Mexico, standing on a beach, waxing my surfboard and admiring the glistening 10-foot waves, when I decided to marry the woman who is now my wife. Sure, this was three years before I got around to popping the question. But that was when I knew.

Why? Because she'd let me go on vacation alone. Hell, she made me go. This is the most important thing a man never told you: If you let us be dumb guys, if you embrace our stupid poker night, if you encourage us to go surfing -- by ourselves -- our silly little hearts, with their manly warts and all, we'll embrace you forever for it.

And that's the truth.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Make Your Partner Love You Forever

What does it take to make a partner love you forever? How do we work out what our other half is looking for in the perfect partner? There's always that feeling that if we could only find the answers to those questions, we would know how to act and keep them in our lives no matter what.

The sad fact is that there isn't one single answer to either question and in many ways you can drive yourself crazy trying to analyse all the possibles. There is one answer though, to stop the worry.

Because the anxiety you are feeling right now is down to an insecurity in yourself, and if we can work on that, then you will magically find you know longer have the stress of wanting know how to make your partner love you forever; it will simply happen.

We all have periods in our lives where we doubt ourselves - temporary insecurity about certain situations is a normal part of being human. But when these feelings affect every part of our lives long term, and especially our relationships with others, it becomes problematic.

The good news is that when we're willing to take a look at our feelings and reactions, we have the greatest opportunity to change. If you have that open attitude, you are already well on your way to stopping the anxiety about your relationship that could be threatening to spoil it in so many ways.

Why do we get into this pattern of insecurity and worry? There are as many reasons as there are people; past bad relationships, unpleasant childhood memories, a gradual increase in low self esteem over the years cause by many different events.

Try these steps for overcoming this pattern and see your concerns about making your partner love you vanish:

  • Think less about ''the relationship'' and more about you. Have you lost track of what you like doing and how you like to be, look and feel? That young vibrant person you used to be is still in there somewhere and its time to find them again. Your partner can never make you whole; this is a job for you alone. They can't fix you or provide a relief from boredom or stress. It's time to find yourself again.
  • Remember your needs are both equally important. Sometimes we become so concerned with making someone like us we forget that both partners should be looking after the other. You aren't providing some kind of social service here!
  • Stop letting your emotions control your actions. Always think before you speak and act, and get some time away from the situation if you think you're going to do or say something in the heat of the moment you will regret later. Give yourself time to plan how you will react to what someone has said or done, and regain a sane, non-dramatic approach.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Poem for wife


The role of a wife has changed significantly during the last hundred years.
Woman now have more freedom than ever before to choose her role to her husband.
Many woman may decide to invest heavily in a career and push off childbearing until a later age. Other woman decide that they want to be a wife in the traditional sense.
Husbands and wives can make all kinds of arrangements that are perfectly workable between each other.
It is important that both parties are aware of the expectations that the other are bringing into the marriage so that there isn't friction later on.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Why It's Important to Respect Your Wife or Husband

As a husband your purpose in marriage is to respect your wife, even when you don't feel like it. When a man gets married he takes on the added responsibilities of marriage, which include being respectful and caring. A husband is to love his wife as he would love himself.

In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. (Ephesians 5:28-29)

He FEEDS and CARES for it just like Christ does the church. This scriptural analogy here is showing husbands "how to love their wives" - in the same way Christ would feed and care for his church. Wow! It is a big responsibility and sometimes a challenging one at that, but God designed husbands for this purpose in marriage.

If a husband is not respecting his wife in the way he should, then could it be because he is not respecting himself? Usually this means a husband is mistreating himself somehow with too much work, or too much womanizing, or too much pornography, or too much drugs, or too much alcohol, or too much resentment, too much selfishness, too much control over his wife, or too much bitterness from within.

All of these things would keep a husband from truly respecting and caring for his wife properly. If we don't love ourselves, how can we love another?

Respect is a principle that supports and sustains many aspects of marriage. If a husband respects and regards his wife with high esteem it will make her feel good about her role as a woman and of being his wife. Marriage will undoubtedly have its troubles, but if you remember the principle "to treat your wife the way you would like to be treated" then most marriage problems can be resolved amicably before they get out of hand.

If a husband totally disregards his purpose to love his wife because he disrespects himself then he will need inner healing before he can learn to love and respect his wife properly - in the way God intended for a man to love his wife. Respect is an important component of marriage, which keeps it flourishing with abundance no matter what issues may arise.

When a woman gets married she now has a new responsibility, to love and respect her husband, even when she doesn't feel like it. Your whole purpose as a wife is to be the loving woman to your man that God wants you to be. Marriage is not just about a wife's feelings and what she wants and needs, but what both husband and wife want and need as a whole and together in the marriage!

The principle I am just about to tell you should be posted on every mirror and refrigerator in a married couples home so they don't forget it. Here is a great and awesome principle for your marriage. If you study it, remember it, and apply it into your marriage, you will understand and regard the principle of respect with more importance.

"Marriage is not about two separate individuals doing their own thing, but about two intertwined individuals working together to be one whole. A wife is her husband's other half and a husband is his wife's other half. Together a husband and a wife create "one flesh" in the marriage."

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become "one flesh". (Genesis 2:24)

A wife should respect the leadership of her husband, encouraging him to become all that he can be for the marriage and to God. A husband should love and care for his wife in the same way he would care for himself, encouraging her to become all that she can be for the marriage and to God. God wants us to live righteously by having a right relationship with Him first, so we can have a right relationship with the person we married.

Author : Angie Lewis

Sunday, March 8, 2009

How to love and respect your wife

1. Set your career, academic, and health goals, and then work hard to achieve them.
2. Develop a network of diverse and supportive friends.
3. Challenge your wife to be a mutual, respectful, and equal partner in every aspect of your relationship.
4. Resist any forms of intimacy you or your wife find uncomfortable.
5. Believe in your wife’s honesty and integrity by refusing to lie or cover for her no matter how seemingly justifiable the lie or a cover-up might be.
6. Applaud her desire and her attempts to be close to her extended family.
7. Talk to her about what you see, think, and feel regarding matters that are important to you, and offer her opportunities to do the same with you.
8. Resist “shutting down” or playing the silent game or the “hurt puppy” when you do not get what you want.
9. Take full responsibility for your children by spending large blocks of time (three-day weekends) with your children. Do not recruit any help from you wife or extended family to do this.
10. Be as interdependent as possible by finding fulfillment both within your marriage and as an individual. Enjoy being husband and dad without losing your capacity to enjoy life outside of each of these wonderful roles.

Friday, March 6, 2009

The Responsibilities of Wife

Since the relationship between an husband and wife is a partnership, it is not surprising that many of the responsibilities each have may be identical. For example, just as the husband is to be selfless, affectionate and kind to his wife, the wife should be the same to her husband.

Paul told Titus in Titus 2:1-10 to give instructions to certain of the brethren in the church. To the older women he charged a responsibility to teach the younger women. They were to admonish them to "love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed" (vs. 4-5). This verse can be used as a template for discussing certain responsibilities peculiar to the wife.

The Godly Wife

The woman who is pleasing God with regard to her familial obligations is characterized by several important attributes.

  • Love (Philandros, Philoteknos). The love that is enjoined upon the wife by the apostle here is a different kind of love than that mentioned in Ephesians 5 as the man's responsibility to his wife. Where that love (agape) had no specific reference to affection, and dealt with the responsibility of the man to treat his wife correctly, in this text affection is the primary thrust. The woman should have an affectionate love for her husband and her children.

    The term philandros literally means "fond of man"; philoteknos likewise means "fond of children." This is the only time these terms are found in the New Testament. The key here is the root philos, which indicates fondness or friendliness, and has reference to the tender feelings that a woman is to have toward her husband and children. The happiness a wife can bring to her home with such tenderness is so important in the lifetime commitment of marriage.

    Below is a poem written by an elderly man as he looks back upon the tender love he received from his wife in their life together.


Warm by the fading embers of my dreams,
Which lived as lively fires long ago.
Still they comfort as though kindled yesterday,
I stir them gently, ever gently in my heart.

You are part of every ember which still warms,
And your glow is how I live from day to day.
I close my eyes and gently then I see,
All the years and years of embers warming me.

I carefully tend my thoughts of what has been,
They are but a feel of the life I've yet to know.
You have warmed my life and spirit constantly,
I've been gifted by your love surrounding me.

Roger E. Honzik

    The final line of the poem is especially suitable for our study. "You have warmed my life and spirit constantly, I've been gifted by your love surrounding me." This is the type of love a wife should have for her husband.

  • Discreet and Chaste. The term discreet is a slightly different form of the same term found in verse four when the older women are told to admonish the younger women to be "sober". Being discreet, or sober, indicates a woman who is in control of her emotions and actions. She has a sound mind, and is not given to excess. She will not embarrass her family.

    Chaste (hagnos) is defined by Vines' as "pure from carnality, modest." Happy is the man whose attraction to his wife is primarily to her character and personality rather than her physical attributes. A person's looks have nothing to do with their character and righteousness. A godly woman is one who influences her husband by "your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel; rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God" (1 Peter 3:2-4).

  • Homemakers. It is an unfortunate aspect of our society that a woman whose primary work is making a home is looked upon as less valuable or accomplished. This is completely untrue. While it is true that a woman can work outside of the home (see Proverbs 31), no woman can do so righteously if she neglects her home. Too often this is happening, even in the church. All women must understand that if they are entering into a marriage relationship, it will be their responsibility to be the homemaker. The work is given them by God.

  • Good. Actually, the term is more accurately rendered "kind". There is an old saying that you find from time to time on refrigerator magnets and the like. "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" It is the wife who is the emotional control in the home. If she is kind to her husband and children, the home will happy. A strident, sharp tongued woman can cause tremendous distress. "It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman" (Proverbs 25:24).


A wife has much incentive to be the type of woman described above. She will please her God by having this character. Too, this type of woman is loved by her family. "Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all'" (Proverbs 31:28-29).

Author: Stan Cox

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Is Love the Way to a Happy Marriage?

"The Post Is Love the Way to a Happy Marriage? is written by Timon Weller, the online Writer for the Buyers Web Blog. To view the original post just go to Is Love the Way to a Happy Marriage or read or comment on it here below.."

Is Love the Way to a Happy Marriage? I have been thinking about this question for a while now, yet it is one many have so many opinions on.

Some believe it is the only important aspect to a marriage yet to others it is like only one component..

So many marriages these days fail so what is the commonality to all of these? In fact If a marriage lasts more than 4 years these days you are in the top rare percentage by western statistics..

Elements to a Possible Long Lasting Happy Marriage :
  • Love
  • Respect
  • Commitment
  • Lifestyle
  • Common Interests
  • Friendship

Another aspect I have been thinking about is, if it is not the only way to a happy marriage then what other components are needed?

Is Love the Way to a Happy Marriage..? What do you think..?

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Romantic Tips For Husband & Wife

When it comes to romance, you may have to do something you've never done before in order to enjoy something you've never had before. Here are some practical ideas on how to be romantic with your husband/wife.

Romantic Things to Enjoy Together:
  1. A bubble bath for two
  2. A full body massage
  3. A long passionate kiss on the lips
  4. A kiss anywhere on each other's body
  5. A night of dinner, wine/sparkling juice, dancing and whatever else may follow
  6. A night out "parking"
  7. Shower together by candlelight
  8. Make your bedroom beautiful and inviting
  9. Turn off the television for the evening and spend it talking and cuddling
  10. Use a dry-erase marker and write love notes on the bathroom mirror or the rear-view mirror of your mate's car
  11. Send a love note to your spouse by email
  12. Try playing "strip poker" one night
  13. Use your lips to feed each other popcorn while watching a movie
  14. Give each other love coupons
  15. Fantasize about a special time away for just the two of you; then schedule it!
  16. Enjoy a good pillow fight together
  17. Go stargazing
  18. Make love in front of the fireplace
  19. Drip chocolate syrup on selected body parts before lovemaking
  20. Listen to romantic music by candlelight

Romantic Things To Do For Your Wife:

  1. Put the children to bed
  2. Plan a date night and arrange the babysitting, too
  3. Massage her legs with lotion
  4. Whisper, "I love you" in her ear
  5. Bring home supper
  6. Snuggle in bed with her in the morning
  7. Cook together
  8. Light some candles
  9. Snuggle on the couch with her
  10. Open her car door
  11. Hold her dinner chair at a restaurant
  12. Tell her thank you for a great meal
  13. Brush her hair for her
  14. Send her flowers
  15. Recite a love poem, or write your own about her
  16. Praise her in front of others
  17. Make her breakfast in bed
  18. Hold her hand when you walk together
  19. One cold mornings, warm up her car
  20. Be affectionate without sexual intentions
  21. Go out of your way to run an errand for her
  22. Have "pillow talk" with her after making love by lying close with your arms around her

Romantic Things To Do For Your Husband:

  1. Wear a sexy nightie
  2. Take some digital photos of yourself and let him enjoy them---then erase!
  3. Leave a trail of your clothing and at the end of it he will find you...
  4. Leave him a trail of yarn, string or ribbon so that he finds you at the end
  5. Initiate sex
  6. Wear some of his clothes, like only his button-down shirt, his bathrobe, or pajamas
  7. Let him watch you dress, and undress
  8. Wear sexy underwear
  9. Wear his favorite cologne or perfume
  10. Have dinner in bed and tell him you are the dessert
  11. Slip a sexy piece of lingerie into his suitcase before he goes on a trip
  12. Attach a note to the remote that says, "Turn me on instead!"
  13. Be waiting for him in the bathtub when he gets home from work
  14. Make love in unusual places like:
  • Outside on the deck or balcony--at home or a motel
  • In a hammock, a lawn chair, and other outdoor furniture
  • Every room of the house, including the stairs
  • On a trampoline
  • Camping trips
  • On the beach, in the ocean or in the dunes
  • In the woods--both on the ground or in a tree house

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

How a Husband Should Love His Wife & How a Wife Should Love Her Husband

Let's think of love not as a word but an action. Instead of saying "I love you." Show you wife that you love her. Be more loving! How can a man show his woman he loves her? By doing!

Forget about the box of chocolates and flowers. Any man can go buy these things. But any man cannot show love to his wife on a whim. The chocolates get eaten and make your wife fat and cranky; the flowers wither and die in three days. What about showing your love by doing things that you know your wife will enjoy?

~How Should A Husband Love His Wife~

When was the last time you wined and dined your wife? What about a mini-vacation? Are you the romantic type? If not find out how you can amaze your wife by being a romantic guy. What would that involve?

A woman likes a man who can cook. How about cooking her an intimate candlelit dinner for two? Don't know how to cook? Get a cookbook and do it anyway. Have some fun in the kitchen and enjoy yourself.

Don't forget, you wife likes to be touched and hugged without the pressure of sex looming in the near future. Sometimes the hugging and coddling is more important to her than the actual sex act. Not that she doesn't like to orgasm but that she wants to KNOW that you love her more than the sex act itself. Hug her and cuddle her and you'll most likely get what you want later.

The most important way to show your love is through your acceptance and validation. Are you the kind of guy that discounts his wife's choices, desires, and needs through invalidation? This kind of behavior will cause all kinds of trouble in the marriage. Let me tell you why.

By invalidating your wife in whatever manner, you have essentially rejected her. She will feel as if her opinions, decisions, and beliefs don't count and shouldn't be regarded with importance. She will hold this within her consciousness and it will come back to haunt you later on in the marriage. This won't be on purpose but mostly because you have hurt her. She loves you and when you invalidate her feelings, thoughts, actions, beliefs, views, and opinions, she gets hurt!

Let me tell you a big secret about woman, which also includes your wife. Your wife may ask you for your opinion on something because it is in her nature to get a second opinion but that does not necessarily mean that she will go with your opinion or your opposing viewpoint.

I'm not talking about the submission thing here either. What I'm talking about is just everyday thoughts and actions of your wife. If for some reason you really feel that it is best that you disagree with her thoughts and feelings, do so AFTER you have said something positive about the way she thinks and feels. Be understanding! If you actually validate her she will see it your way on her own, even if she won't admit it.

Your wife may also like to vent her feelings more then you, not because she needs for you to find a solution so much as just being a sounding board. Give her validation in what she has to say, and then ask her if she is looking for an opinion and or solution first before giving her one. This doesn't make much sense to you, but to us women it makes a lot of sense.

~How A Wife Should Love Her Husband~

It is my firm belief that it is easier to make a man happy than for a man to make a woman happy. I believe this because men really don't ask for much. If they can camp out on the hard ground with the ants and other bugs how hard can they be to please? Yes, I know this sounds superficial but think about this for a moment. Have you noticed how much happier, and less stressed out your man is when he has his two most important needs met, sex and food?

It is also semi-true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. They love to eat and they love to eat good tasty meals. When their stomachs are full, and they have been taken care of physically, a man doesn't ask for much else.

Don't forget, the home is a man's castle. Knowing this, make every effort to keep his castle tidy and free of stressful situations that could upset his equilibrium. He has worked all day long and wants to come home to a loving and sweet wife, not a grouch and a TV dinner

Be appreciative of every little thing your man does around the house. Make your man feel like a man by being a woman. Give him a hug and a kiss where it counts, talk about your day together. Don't reject your husband sexually. Make him feel good about himself by telling him so. Respect him for who he is and what he does!

Basically, a woman needs validated and intimacy, and a man needs sex and good food. Find ways in which you can give of your self in the marriage by being more loving in these areas.

And men, after you have shown your wife how much you love her, then you can buy her the chocolates and flowers.

Angie Lewis has written five books on how to have a happy marriage. In her books she offers marriage tips, tools, techniques, and wisdom filled answers for you to apply in your marriage. From issues such as adultery, addiction, pornography, emotions, beliefs, forgiveness, communication and submission - it's all here!

Angie's latest book ADULTERY PANDEMIC is about the prevalence of infidelity among the Christian community and what you can do to protect yourself and marriage. If you or your spouse have been unfaithful, this book will give you the spiritual insight and wisdom to overcome this devastating battle to heal yourself and restore your marriage.


Monday, March 2, 2009

Romancing Your Wife

Guys, let’s face it. Some of us have a long way to go in the romance department. We know our wife wants it, we know we’re supposed to do it, but it just doesn’t come naturally to us.

When we first begin to court a woman, our step is lighter and our inner Romeo is unleashed. Driven to win her heart, romantic creativity seems to flow easily. Every day is a new surprise: flowers, candies, love notes and dates. However, when “I want to marry this woman” turns into “We’re married for life,” we often settle into a nice, comfortable rut. The stretches between our romantic efforts grow longer and longer, until we rely on Hallmark’s annual reminder that it’s Valentine’s Day.

I remember the night I realized that I had been dropping the romance ball. It was almost midnight, and my wife suddenly remembered she’d forgotten to buy some string licorice, which she needed the next morning for Sunday school. She asked me if I’d go out to the store to get some for her. So I dutifully headed off to our local Mac’s store. Unfortunately, they didn’t have what I was looking for, so I drove home preparing to tell her that she was going to have to think of something else to use.

Then it struck me, like a lightning bolt out of the clear blue sky. When we were first dating, I wouldn’t have given up so easily. When my damsel was in distress, I alone stood to save her! Back then I would have stayed up all night if necessary, checking every store in town for string licorice!

In a moment of romantic bliss I turned the car around and headed for another store, then another, and another. I was love-struck once again. Thankfully it didn’t take me all night – just 45 minutes. It was a small price to pay to show my wife that she was loved.

And that’s what romance is really all about. When men think of romance, we often connect it to the desired end result - sex. It could be because we’re often told, “If you would only romance me more…” Nevertheless, end result shouldn’t be our focus. Romance is often little more than making my wife smile.

We also mistakenly think that romance always requires a five-star production. We picture hours of elaborate and expensive preparations for an event that she will never forget. But sometimes simple is better than complex, and the element of surprise can be our greatest ally. Our wives want to feel cherished for who they are and thought of when they feel they’ve been forgotten. They want to be noticed, pampered, listened to and, more than anything, fed mounds of luscious chocolate. Actually, what they really want is just to be shown a little appreciation.

Maybe you want to romance your wife, but your stockpile of ideas is running low. If you’re looking for something other than dinner and a movie, here are a few ideas to get you started.

1. Flower power - Now, you may be thinking, “Flowers? I thought you said this was going to be creative!” Well, hold on there. You may have done the flower thing before, but an old idea can be given new life. The next time you buy your wife flowers, think outside the box. Most florists sell small glass vases for one or two dollars. Buy a dozen or so roses, and the same number of vases. Put one rose in each vase, and hide them all over the house – in the kitchen, the laundry room, the bathroom, the closet, the bedroom. Then attach a pink paper heart to each one, telling her something you appreciate about her – something like, “I really appreciate the way you do my laundry every week.” Put a note on the front door saying, “You are now entering the Romance Zone - Heart Hats required!” Then get out of the house and allow her to discover it on her own!

2. Quotes for your queen - A picture may be worth a thousand words, but a thousand words can paint quite a picture! Enter “love quotes” or “romance quotes” into an Internet search engine. Print out the best thoughts of romantics down through the ages, and cut them out individually. Then tape them all over the house for your beloved to find (this idea will also go over big with your daughters). Sometimes, the best way to express our heart is by borrowing somebody else’s words. On the other hand…

3. Roses are red, violets are blue - Why not try to write your own poetic masterpiece? Now wait, before you laugh, realize that your poetry does not have to compare favourably to Ralph Waldo Emerson for you to be able to do this. Remember that whole, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” thing. What you think is the world’s worst poem could have your wife praising you as a literary genius, simply because you cared enough to express your love in this way. So dust off your quill pen and start writing!

4. A song in your heart - If you’re anything like me, you may have a lot of singing in you but it just doesn’t seem to come out very well. Find one of those instant recording studios at the mall and record her favourite song. Gather some of your buddies together, call yourselves the Love Connection or some other romantic name, and sing the song. Alternatively, buy an album with your old dating music on it and play it before you take her out for dinner, or end the night with a dance in the middle of your ballroom (I mean, living room).

5. Why reinvent the wheel? - Leave a message on the answering machine, “I just called to tell you I appreciate you and wanted to say I love you.” Send her an e-mail message, referring her to a web site that has a poem or love song you like. Or how about digging out one of those old love letters you wrote her and resending it via the mail, with a “P.S. I still feel this way” added at the bottom.

6. The perfect picnic - One day at lunch, pick up her favourite food: Chinese take-out, pizza, sushi, an all desert buffet - whatever she likes. Bring it home and slip it into a picnic basket. Lay out a blanket on your living room floor, maybe even in front of a crackling fire, and enjoy a romantic meal for two.

7. Heart attack - About a week ahead of time, send her an e-mail that says, “Beware: the King of Hearts is going to strike.” Buy a huge bag of red cinnamon hearts, chocolate hearts, plastic hearts or paper hearts - as many different types as you can find. Hide them everywhere you can think of: in her drawers, her purse, her cupboards and her pockets. When she opens her wallet at the grocery store, hearts fall out. When she lowers the sun visor in her car, hearts rain down on her. The more bothersome the better (without seriously inconveniencing her, of course)! Actually, inconvenience may be a good thing!

8. All-inclusive dinners - If you want to give your wife a fabulous evening out, but you feel overwhelmed by planning all the details, consider an all-inclusive dinner offered by many hotels and restaurants (especially around Valentine’s Day). You pay one price, covering dinner, wine, dessert, and a pair of tickets to the theatre or a sporting event (note: if you’re trying to make your wife smile, only take her to a sporting event if she actually likes sports!). This is an easy way to plan an elaborate, memorable evening together.

As I have done the unexpected things I wouldn’t normally do to express my feelings to my wife, I’ve discovered how much fun it actually is to surprise someone. Even more importantly, as I have set up some of these things, I have been reminded how much I still love my wife. Above all, remember that romance is spelled E-F-F-O-R-T. It is fun, but it is also work. Take the time to study your wife; get a masters degree in pleasing her. Learn what it is that sets her heart fluttering, and then get to it!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

100 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife HER Way

Discuss this list with your wife. Ask her to check the ones meaningful to her, and then have her arrange them in the order she considers important. Use this list to learn what speaks “love” to her. It’s most likely very different from what speaks “love” to you.

1. Start and/or end each day by holding hands and praying together with your wife.
2. Pray for her every day and make it a point to pray with her when she is troubled.
3. Communicate with her instead of shutting her out or talking AT her.
4. Talk to her respectfully without demeaning her or hurting her feelings.
5. Complement her for the giftedness you see in her. Be specific.
6. Show interest in her friends and give her time to be with them.
7. Do something active together to lift her spirit —even taking a walk hand-in-hand.
8. Express to her that you need and value her.
9. Show enthusiasm for the things that she’s excited about—let your actions show it.
10. Find something that makes you laugh together.
11. Avoid making sudden changes without discussing them with her first.
12. Surprise her by doing something you think she would want done before she asks.
13. Put your arms around her when she needs comfort, holding her silently.
14. Show interest in what she values as important in life.
15. When you correct her do it gently and tenderly—speaking the truth in LOVE.
16. Allow her to teach you things without being defensive.
17. Spend special time with her and with the children.
18. Show her that she matters more to you than any activity you could do, or any one you could be with, that somehow threatens her sense of security in your marriage.
19. Be a good listener. Show her you value what she says.
20. Plan a mini-honeymoon, where the two of you can spend quality time together.
21. Go shopping with her and don’t sigh or look at what time it is even once.
22. Take her out to breakfast or make her breakfast (cleaning up afterward).
23. Make the time to set specific goals with her to achieve together for each year.
24. Give her grace when she offends you and forgive (even as you want to be forgiven).
25. Find ways to help her know you are her partner in all areas life.
26. Be polite, courteous, and mannerly with her—not taking her for granted.
27. Exhibit humility, admit your mistakes, and ask for forgiveness. She’ll appreciate that!
28. Defend her to others—especially to your family.
29. Don’t belittle her intelligence.
30. Scratch her back, rub her feet, or her rub her neck—whatever she’d prefer.
31. Get up in the middle of the night (and let her stay in bed) taking care of your distressed child.
32. Be especially helpful when she is not feeling well.
33. When you’ve been apart for a time and she asks how your day went, don’t just say “fine” — actually give her some details.
34. Thank God for her by name when the two of you are praying together.
35. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
36. Don’t embarrass her by arguing with her in front of others.
37. Lead your family in their spiritual relationship with God. This is important to her.
38. Make eye contact when she is talking to you and when you are talking with her.
39. Show her that you prefer her to others—give her your attention whenever possible.
40. Relate what happened at work or whatever you did apart from her.
41. Specifically tell her what you appreciate about what she does for you and the family.
42. Be helpful and cooperative, both before, and during the time you have other people over to your home. (If you’re not sure what to do, just say to your wife “What can I do that would help the most?”)
43. Brag about her to others, both in front of her and when she is not with you.
44. Surprise her from time-to-time with a card and flowers or a little gift.
45. Remember to tell her or call her as soon as you know you are going to be late.
46. Give her your undivided attention when she wants to talk.
47. Guard your tongue from saying “unwholesome words” or down-grading her.
48. Refuse to compare her unfavorably with others.
49. Encourage her to relax in some way while you clean up after dinner.
50. Be an involved partner and father in helping her with the children.
51. Maintain good grooming habits so you look and smell good. It shows you care.
52. Be supportive. Help her to finish her education and goals that are important to her.
53. View and treat her as if God put a sign over her that said, “Make me feel special.”
54. Run errands without complaining.
55. Give her the love gift of being thoughtful and considerate to her relatives.
56. Don’t negatively compare her relatives with yours.
57. Sit close to her —even when you are just watching television.
58. Be verbally supportive and honor her in front of the children.
59. Show her you are her marital partner by not making plans without her knowing and agreeing with them (unless it’s a surprise for her).
60. Pro-actively do things that makes her feel cherished as a woman and as a wife.
61. Make sure you treat her as a woman of intelligence.
62. Surprise her by asking her to give you a list of 3 things she’d like done around the house within the next month. And then make it your goal to do them.
63. Ask her and then listen to what makes her fearful and insecure (without judging).
64. Pray about and act upon what you can do to alleviate those fears.
65. Find out what her sexual needs are (and then try to fulfill them).
66. Surprise her with a 15 second kiss (with no expectations to go any further).
67. Keep yourself in as good of shape as is reasonable so she’s proud to be with you.
68. Make it a point to write a mission statement together for your marriage and family.
69. Take the time to touch every day—even if it’s only for a minute or two.
70. Be polite and kind. (Often we’re kinder to strangers than we are to our spouse.)
71. Be sensitive enough to ask her if you offend or hurt her sexually in any way.
72. Go out of your way to help her feel valued over everyone else.
73. Consider her as your marital partner in how you spend money.
74. Continue to court her. You dated her before you married which helped you to fall in love, now date her to STAY in love.
75. Be careful to choose your words, especially when angry.
76. Show affection for her in front of friends.
77. Make sure your children speak to her and treat her in respectful ways.
78. Make a point of honoring anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions.
79. Make sure she has money each paycheck to spend any way she would choose.
80. Hold her close and vocally express your love and care for her when she is hurt, discouraged, or burdened.
81. Surprise her by giving her a special gift from time to time.
82. Share the responsibilities around the house (without looking for special recognition).
83. Don’t tease and belittle her, saying “I was just joking” when she doesn’t find it funny.
84. Allow her to express herself freely, without fear of being called illogical or dumb.
85. Don’t forget to hold her hand in public like you used to when you dated her.
86. Don’t criticize her in front of others—keeping her dignity in tact.
87. Don’t focus on the physical features of another woman (because, whether you understand her reasoning or not, that can make your wife feel dishonored).
88. Be sensitive to her needs—looking for ways to bless her.
89. Let her know you want to spend special time with her and the children.
90. Fix dinner for her sometimes.
91. Be sympathetic when she’s sick—and help her however you can.
92. Let her sleep in once in a while and you get the children ready for the day.
93. Honor her by not disagreeing with her in front of the children.
94. Don’t ignore the small things that bother her and let them build into bigger issues.
95. Surprise her by doing some things around the house that she’s wanted done.
96. Tell her (and show her) you love her often.
97. Buy her what she would consider to be an intimate and loving gift.
98. Surprise her by suggesting you go to a marriage seminar or weekend retreat together to draw even closer in your marital relationship.
99. Express your love and appreciation for her in a love note which you give to her.
100. Show her affection without sexual intentions.